- a prayer -
Father,
Right now, I don't know where I belong or where I am meant to be. Right now, I feel uncomfortable and exposed in my current state. I feel my mind pulling me in a different direction and I fear it. What if it's wrong? God, I need guidance and I am asking You to help me because my heart craves something so different than what I am constantly immersed in.
I crave quiet moments...
Gentle interactions,
A sense of calm,
Slow music,
Peace.
My mind is too loud. It's always buzzing. I don't want to add to it anymore. It's become too heavy. Can my approach be gentle? Can I worship softly?
I want to appreciate and praise You -- through Your works, in my writing, at night, and in the morning. My heart fills with a joy like no other when I can appreciate the depth of Your creation. The sky, the clouds, the moon, the rain, the gentleness of a melody which stirs my heart...
I crave the quiet. I crave the early morning alone with You. I crave something softer, something lighter.
There is too much rush, too much noise. I am overwhelmed by it all. I find little peace in the commotion, in large gatherings, in the intense volume. It's overbearing and distracting. It's become too much to carry and has made me feel that walking alongside You is too much for me.
I don't want the world and the meetings on Sunday mornings to stir anything ugly in my heart, but lately I feel weighed down by it all. The sheer amount of it all.
When I say 'gentle', I do not mean weak. Gentleness / softness and boldness can coexist. It's the interference from hurry and noise that weakens me instead. I sincerely hope that my worship can be about You, Lord, and not about all the clamor and the rush.
I want to go boldly to You. Uninhibited, not weighed down or held back by the overwhelm of my surroundings. Meeting with You is not a burden. The world around me has begun to overcomplicate what I believe should be very simple...
Maybe not always easy, but simple.
I trust You, Lord, to guide me with Your Sprit and light.
Amen.
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